Thursday, July 2, 2009

Revised first page of Surviving

I took off in a dead sprint for the cliff. No looking back now.

A man stood at the edge, and when I neared, he wrapped his arms around me, possibly to stop me, and we went over. We hit branches and rocks that jutted out from the side of the mountain. Our screams tangled with the rushing water below.

The fall didn’t last long. I had just enough time to take a deep breath when we sliced through the twisted river’s surface.

He held on, pulling me up with him. My ankles ached and my lungs caught fire. He swam hard with the current, tugging me along. I pushed against him to free myself, but he grabbed for me.

“Let go,” I tried to say, but sucked in a lung-full of water.

He pulled at my hair and I relented, letting him and the river carry us further downstream. Away from the real danger.

After what seemed like an eternity of fighting to stay afloat, he dragged us to the rocky shore. With barely enough energy to breathe I lay intertwined with him for some time.

Finally, he asked, “Is anything broken?”

I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked into his large brown eyes. “Um, not sure. You?”

Slowly, he moved beneath me. “Don’t think so. But do you mind getting off so I can make sure?”


Joyce Wolfley said...

Great beginning - it puts you right in the action.

Diane said...

It's pulling me in.... Sounds great!