Excerpt from an all new In The Dark

The darkness held no sign of life. Memphis’s muscles tensed as a cold breeze flew past her.

Her lips twitched in pleasure as tingles of electrical current slithered from the nape of her neck, down her spine, and caught fire at the clawed fist of the griffin tattooed at her hip. The image had started out as what she believed was a birthmark of an eye, but over the years had spread into the griffin. With each kill, another element of the beast appeared.

Laughter erupted on all sides of her and she braced for battle, her hand on the hilt of the short dagger sheathed on her thigh. Just as the first shadow shifted into a crouch, a strong hand grasped hers and pulled her at top speed out of the dark alley.

She tried dragging her feet, but the body attached to the hand must have been solid muscle and outweighed her by at least fifty pounds.

“Dammit, let go.” She yanked her hand, but only managed to have the hold tightened. She knew you never pulled against the hand but pushed into it, but at the angle she was currently in, she couldn’t do that.

“Don’t be stupid,” the deep, masculine voice said, sending a purely sensual shiver through her system. He stopped long enough to look over his shoulder at her and say, “Little girls shouldn’t play in dark alleys,” and he was tugging her behind him again.

Given in to the knowledge that she couldn’t very well fight with this idiot-turned-hero around, she raced with him up a flight of stairs, through a hall, and back down another flight. Out the door, back into the night and on the street, they ran for a few miles before a click sounded in the silent night air and a car door slung open.

“Get in,” the dark knight yelled.

With a half sigh, half laugh, Memphis slumped into the passenger seat of a very clean, very sleek sports car. He hit speeds over one hundred miles per hour as he made his way through the sleepy streets of Austin. Working on finding some sort of gratitude that might displace her anger, she sank back into the leather seat and studied the man by the console lights. Dark hair, black as pitch, hung loosely over a high forehead and curled at his neck and around his ears. A square jaw, clenched in what seemed to be anger, added masculinity to high, defined cheekbones.

Her heart sputtered in her chest, caught in a frenzy of longing and fear, two feelings she had no use for. A normally brilliant mind blanked. He was beautiful. Not in a pretty, female way, but in a god-fallen-to-the-earth kind of way. And the sense of recognition stunned her. But how? If she’d ever laid eyes on him before, she’d have remembered. There wasn’t a woman alive that wouldn’t have a clear recollection of this strong man.

After what couldn’t have been more than minutes, he slowed and glanced at her. “What the hell where you doing out this time of night?”

She raised a brow at the growl of anger in his voice and bit back a laugh.

“Have you any idea how dangerous it is to walk around a place like that in the light of day, better yet on a moonless night?”

Excerpt from an all new Legend of the Protectors

Sweat pours down my back as I run through the woods behind Paw-paw’s house. The fist clenching my heart takes hold of my lungs, making it nearly impossible to continue. My legs weigh a ton and I feel as if I’m running on the beach instead of pine needles and grasses.

The growl behind me is human. Or at least not quite animal. Laughter mixes in with the burst of wind rushing past my ears. A hiss of a name teases me.

My bare feet land on prickly cones and branches reach out to grab my hair and scratch my bare skin. I realize now I’m naked and embarrassment flutters close behind my fear. A fear that pushes me forward though my lungs burn.

Whatever’s behind me, man or monster, stops and I feel a sense of relief. But it only lasts for a second. My legs move slower, and a tug on my stomach tries to wrench me back. Almost like an invisible rope has lassoed me and is yanking me from behind.

I try to scream, only to find I have no voice. The darkness has eaten all sound and light.

Excerpt from Strange World

Thunderous horns and people hollering echoed around Lexi as she stumbled along the walkway. Flashing signs and steel buildings pressed ominously against her spirit. She did not understand what life-force sustained this planet, Earth. Concrete and steel could not breathe. The humans had to receive oxygen from somewhere. The processes on this planet were similar to those on her own, carbon dioxide and oxygen exchanged through plants. But there were no plants here.

A bell jingled and caught Lexi’s attention. The window to a building had cut flowers and small plants in bowls behind it, but that could only maintain the people behind the glass. What kept the people on the street alive?

“Hey! Watch it!” a husky voice yelled as a hand grabbed her arm.

Lexi looked into the Greater’s odd eyes and smiled. How peculiar—they stayed the same color, no matter his emotion. She tilted her head and studied his features. Hair, the color of straw, blew around on his head. Dull grey eyes stared back at her. A tuft of hair touched his bottom lip, but the rest of his face was hairless.

Strange.

Just a Kiss

Cóir’s breath caught. Her heart leapt as Seth’s fingers shimmered up her arm. Closing her eyes, she took in the heady smell of pine, lavender, and man.

“Open your eyes.” Seth’s lips brushed the corner of Cóir’s lips. “Look at me.”

Without hesitation, she obeyed, staring into the cool steel-blue eyes.

One strong hand slid down her back, fingers spayed, and tugged her closer as the other fisted in her hair. Everything she’d learned over the years insisted she stop the intrusion. Run, her instincts prompted. But her body ached to close around him and give herself into the promise of pleasure.

“Kiss me,” Seth whispered.

As if under a spell, Cóir snaked her arms over his shoulders and around his neck, bringing his mouth to hers. Eyes open, she watched his eyes darken as she parted her lips and traced the tip of her tongue over his teeth.

(Exert from a WIP)

A Little More Detail

Okay, so I was on Flogging the Quill and Ray said he'd turn the page, but gave me a few great tips, and so did those who commented. I revised Surviving (below) and got another great comment.

One gal, hope101, said:

Definitely better in terms of clarity, but the reactions still are off for me.

Consider: she's running for her life, presumably prepared to jump off a cliff rather than face whatever's behind her. She'll be going fast, but she'll still have enough time to note *something* about the man. And she'll want to--at least enough to know whether he's an innocent bystander who should be running in his own right, or another permutation of the Big Bad.

If it's the former she'll be startled when he snakes out an arm to grab her. (I can't envision him wrapping her in his arms, given the pace.) If it's the latter, she'd probably swerve to avoid him.

Either way, if she has any spine, she should be giving him a royal ass-whooping right about now. :)

"Getting into Character" by Brandilyn Collins is a book that might help you slow it down a little. Good luck!


So I've added more detail, hopefully without losing the pace. Any thoughts on this new version.



I took off in a dead sprint. My heart racing to the point of pain. My Doc Martin combat boots seemed to weigh a ton, slowing me down. The thick air, full of moister, made breathing difficult.

I had to get away .

A man a few inches taller than me stood at the edge of the clearing, and I screamed, “Run!”

He looked behind him, then back at me.

“Run!” I yelled again, but either he was deaf or stupid. Crazy woman yelling run at me when she looks like she’s in a race for her life, I’m sure gonna run.

He just stood there, staring at me. He yelled something back, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. Damn, maybe he only spoke Portuguese.

When I neared, he reached out, possibly to stop me. I darted to the side, instantly wishing I hadn’t. He grabbed my arm and we went over a cliff, hitting branches and rocks that jutted out from the side of the mountain.

Our screams tangled with the rushing water below.

The fall didn’t last long. I had just enough time to take a deep breath when we sliced through the twisted river’s surface.

He held on, pulling me up with him. My ankles ached and my lungs caught fire. He swam hard with the current, tugging me along. I pushed against him to free myself, but he grabbed for me.

“Let go,” I tried to say, but sucked in a lung-full of water.

He pulled at my hair and I relented, letting him and the river carry us further downstream. Away from the real danger.

Revised first page of Surviving

I took off in a dead sprint for the cliff. No looking back now.

A man stood at the edge, and when I neared, he wrapped his arms around me, possibly to stop me, and we went over. We hit branches and rocks that jutted out from the side of the mountain. Our screams tangled with the rushing water below.

The fall didn’t last long. I had just enough time to take a deep breath when we sliced through the twisted river’s surface.

He held on, pulling me up with him. My ankles ached and my lungs caught fire. He swam hard with the current, tugging me along. I pushed against him to free myself, but he grabbed for me.

“Let go,” I tried to say, but sucked in a lung-full of water.

He pulled at my hair and I relented, letting him and the river carry us further downstream. Away from the real danger.

After what seemed like an eternity of fighting to stay afloat, he dragged us to the rocky shore. With barely enough energy to breathe I lay intertwined with him for some time.

Finally, he asked, “Is anything broken?”

I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked into his large brown eyes. “Um, not sure. You?”

Slowly, he moved beneath me. “Don’t think so. But do you mind getting off so I can make sure?”

Great Sampler Give-away

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Celebration of Summer and Life

If you haven't heard of SITS, then you should go check it out. What a great networking tool.

Now, want some fun in the sun and a break from those adorable kids?

Then go to Buried With Children and enter the contest. It's easy, it's fun, and you just might win.

Tuesday's Storybook Picture

Wizard of Oz?

Silence of the Lamb?

Or Mayberry?

What does this inspire in you?

Get to know your Characters

So how do you get to know your characters?

One way is to do Bios on each character. They are a great way to start. I have them on each main character in each book, and on many of the minor characters.

Some questions you may want to include:

Full name of Character:
Reason, meaning or purpose behind the name:
Nickname:
Reason for nickname:
Race:
Occupation/class:
Social class:

Physical Appearance:
Age:
How old they appear:
Eye Color:
Glasses or contacts?
Hair color length and style:
Weight and height:
Type of body (build):
Skin tone and type (j.e., hairy, slimy, scaly, oily, fair, burns easily):
Shape of face:
Distinguishing marks (dimples, moles, scars, birthmarks, etc.):
Predominant feature:
Is s/he healthy?
If not, why not? Or why are they healthy? Do they look healthy? Whylwhy not?

Favorites:
Character's favorite color, why:
Least favorite, why? Music?
Least favorite music, why? Food:
Literature:
Expressions:
Expletives (curse):
Mode of transport:
Hohbies:
How do they spend a rainy day?

Personality:
Are they a daredevil or cautious?
Do they act the same alone as when with someone? Habits:
Drinks:
How much:
Greatest Strength:
Greatest Weakness:
Soft spot:
Is their soft spot ohvious, why/why not:
If not, how do they hide it:
Biggest Vulnerahility:

Background:
Hometown:
Type of childhood:
First Memory:
Most important child hood event that still effects himlher:
Why? Education:
Religion:
Finances:
Family:
Mother:
Relationship with her:
Father:
Relationship with him:
Sihlings, How many, relationship with each:
Children of siblings:
Other extended family:
Close? Why or why not:

These are just a few of the things to fill out I have on my Character Profile Sheet. (if you want me to email you a complete copy, email me at sjlovetowrite@gmail.com)

So what else? How else can you learn your characters?

Well, I write scenes from more than one POV oftentimes. For instance, I have a scene of conflict between two characters, so I write it from my main character's POV, then so that I know what's going on in my other MC's mind, I write the same scene from their POV.

Why? Because if I'm in both characters heads, then I understand them.

I believe that you need to know way more about your characters than just their names and likes, more than what ever makes it into your novel. You need to know them as well as you know yourself. (My head does get a little crowded sometimes, but when I write, I'm able to do a little purging.) :)

Let me know what you do to get to know your characters. I'm all ears!

Sarah

If You Give a Girl a Pen has moved

We have our own domain now. So please go here and follow us.

Thanks

Picture Short Story

I haven't posted here in a while, because I am really working on a new writing blog I started with some friends. If you haven't graced us with your presence yet, please do.

If You Give a Girl a Pen is aimed at helping writers achieve their goals. Where this one is more my journey. Things I do to keep the creative juices flowing.

So today, I will post a picture and write. Anyone who would like to join me, may post their story in the comment section.

Kali stood in the background, watching as Hiyem followed Paui. Today, Hiyem was meant for another. The Gelse waited at the gate for allowance into the village. Once granted, Hiyem and Amua would start their ten day journey to the lands of Bale. If they returned, they would be husband and wife.

Hiyem gazed at Kali for a long moment before he turned away. Kali knew he did not wish this for himself, or for her. She knew Paui had offered him in return of ten woluks and four bazen. With grazers that bred, Zimza could feed its people for many years. Hiyem had been sold to a man with a daughter no one else wanted.

Tears fell onto Kali’s cheek. She held her stomach, the start of a life that would

know no father. The start of a life of ridicule and castoff. Maybe she would be sold as well.

This picture found here.